I've been thinking about our future adoption process a lot lately. Ok...honestly, I've been worrying more than anything. I've always focused my attention on the cost and the wait...what about the initial acceptance??? Oh goodness...that stresses me out.
I know nobody said "life is fair", but I've found myself giving into the 'woe is me' attitude - if only for tonight. I just found out one more of my friends is pregnant, and although I'm very excited for them, I feel sorry for me. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way...or at least not out loud. But it's hard to stay happy about it all the time. I make jokes or I try to make it all sound ok when in reality, it's not. I see my scars every single day. I know I'm not the only one in the world going through this, but sometimes it feels like it. I want to take a pregnancy test. I want to wear maternity clothes. I want to know what my baby would look like. Life shouldn't revolve around our WANTS, and we should be thankful for what we have. I have a great husband and family and I now have my health! Lots of blessings. But I can't help but think how sad it would be for us to never have children of our own. I'm sure if you've read through my blog, you've probably heard me say that before.
So tomorrow I'm off work so I'm going to spend some time looking into some agencies in the area. I figure it won't hurt for us to meet with people and find out what we'll need to do eventually. My cousin called me the other night and we talked about foster to adopt. I never really had any feelings about this...I just assumed I'd do an infant adoption through an agency. I'm getting some info from her and we are more than willing to explore our options!
Speaking of adoptions...we adopted a new puppy. Her name is Chloe and we were TOLD that she was a lab mix but after a little research, we firmly believe she is a German Shepherd mix. She is so freakin' cute! I love having a puppy around and Preston is actually warming up to her a bit! We are guessing she is about 8 or 9 weeks old so we made her birthday December 8, 2009!
Preston playing with his new baby sister!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment