"I Saw God Today"

Baby Girl's 14 day hearing was last Tuesday and the judge saw it necessary for her to remain in foster care.  No relatives came forward, so she is staying with us.  Dad agreed to the plan the court made for him so now we wait (mom was, um, unable to make the hearing)!  There is a progress hearing in April and then another one in July.  We will just take one day at a time and love every moment we have her!  She is growing so fast and she is such a wonderful baby!  Right now I'm watching Chase talk to her as he changes her diaper!  I love it! 

We thank God everyday for trusting us with this precious life. We know that we were chosen and although it will be a very rocky road, we know that God has his arms tightly around us and will never leave us to handle this emotional overload on our own! I'm amazed every day how beautiful and perfect she is.  She has brown hair and blue eyes.  Her eye lashes were light and have darkened in the last week or so.  I'm still curious if her eyes will stay blue!  She's breathtaking! 

She has her 2 month check up on Thursday with her original pediatrician.  I'm excited to get some information from her birth (weight, length, etc).  We THINK she is about 9 lbs right now.  She likes to look around and her focusing is really improving.  She stares at me when I talk to her and I truly believe she understands everything I say, LOL!  She smiles, we think.  It's hit or miss, but I'm pretty confident they are not gas grins anymore!  The other night she laughed for the first time while she was sleeping.  I was so excited and I can't wait to hear it again. She is starting to coo alot and lifts her head when we are burping her so that she can look around. She's truly amazing!

I went back to work last week after taking off 2 weeks with Baby Girl.  I could TOTALLY be a stay at home mom!  Chase is such a meanie for making me work! LOL!!!  She stayed with a friend of mine last week and Chase is off this week - then she will go to daycare!  I really love where she is going.  I know several people who use this daycare and it comes highly recommended!  I'm confident that they will take very good care of her.

This past weekend we celebrated Grayson's 1st birthday!  I cannot believe he is already a year old!  Time is flying!  He's so stinkin' cute and such a character.  Baby Girl was so excited to celebrate her big cousin's birthday...and to wear her first pair of blue jeans!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAY GRAY! 

Jesus Loves Me

We are on our way home from a fabulous weekend in Dallas! To keep myself from falling asleep too soon, I've decided to blog!

First of all, let me tell you how great it was to see everyone...Zoren, Annie, Kasey, Grayson, The Stogsdills, The Rosenbaums and the Shelbys!!! We had so much fun!

As I'm sitting here in the dead silence of the car (Baby Girl is out like a light), I keep thinking, what if we don't get to keep her?! I understand in the grand reality of the "system", the odds are stacked against us! Most people involved in this situation are pro parent! After all, we are only foster parents! We will only get to experience most of this beautiful little girls firsts, but disregard us! What do we know?

I can't stand the thought of not always having her! My eyes fill up with tears any time that thought enters my mind! So many people asked us in the beginning "are you sure you can handle foster care?" I typically would answer with "we won't know if we don't try"! Now I know! I will handle it like a blubbering nonsensical shell of a human! In short, we will not accept another emergency foster placement anytime soon! The what ifs are killing me and I don't think I can handle getting attached and losing them! We will continue to work with the foster care system, but for now only with children with an adoption plan! After we have completed our family, we will visit emergency foster care again - I can almost guarantee it! I know that my purpose on Earth is to help the children that can't help themselves so I'm confident we will be involved somehow! I know that's what we are doing right now, I just didn't expect to fall head over heals in love with her!

Baby Girl's 14 day hearing is Tuesday so we will see how that turns out and just take everything slowly!

Pray pray pray!!!!

"Feeling Groovy"

SHE'S HERE!   On Tuesday, February 7 at 5pm we were entrusted with the most beautiful little girl in the world.  She is 6 weeks old, has the biggest, bluest eyes and has totally rocked our world!  An 8 year old in the house is one thing...a newborn is quite another!  Overall, she is not a very fussy baby (as I type this, she is squirming in Chase's arms after being fed and changed, LOL)!!  She tells us when she's hungry and when she needs changing!  She goes to sleep (although she really just sleeps all day) around 11pm, wakes up at 3 for feeding and diaper change, then usually sleeps until 7 or 8!  Today she slept til 9!!!  YIPPEE!!!  I've been off work for the past week and will be next week so that we can postpone daycare as long as possible.  We have a friend taking care of her the week of the 20th and Chase is taking vacation the last week of Feb so she will not have to go to daycare until March 5!  Thank goodness! I hate thinking of putting her in there, but we need to work!  I've made several visits to the daycare she will be attending and absolutley love it.  They are excited to meet her so that makes me feel a little more at ease!

I have totally LOVED shopping for her!  She now has a fabulous collection of headbands with ridiculously big flowers and all things pink - and thank you to everyone who sent her clothes, she loves them, I can tell!!!!  She is so tiny that her 0-3mo clothing are way too big so I had to get her a few newborn outfits for now!  I'm not allowed to post pics of her on the internet otherwise they would be all over the place :)  For those of you who have received pictures from us, please do not post them on Facebook!  Her aunt, uncle, cousins and grandparents are in love with her and she never has a lack of arms to hold her!  She is one lucky little girl!!

We have no idea what her plan is at this point.  She was an emergency placement, so technically she's not officially our foster baby!  She has a 14 day hearing on the 21st at 8:30am.  At that point they will see if any relatives have come forward for her and have had an approved home study. If nobody comes forward, then she will remain in our care until they create a long term plan for her, either reunification or adoption (usually about a year long process).  Obviously, we don't want her to go, but we know that's not our call.  We love her so much and get teary every time I'm holding her and she just looks up at me and I think that I may not get to see those eyes forever!  If she leaves our home, I can't imagine the pain we will feel but we will be OK knowing that we were able to love her for a short time.  Ultimately, we are praying that she stays with us...forever would be a wonderful and beautiful blessing.  For now we will take one day at a time and enjoy every single minute with her!

At this time we are asking for prayers for her plan.  We pray that she will remain in a safe, loving environment. We pray that she will understand how much we love her and would do anything for her.  We pray for protection over our hearts if she does not remain in our care.  Pray for all of the children who need protection and love out there.

Well, I see that we have totally lost track of time and missed church :(  I will update as often as I can about her progress and any changes to her care!  Thank you for those of you who have been so supportive through all of this, we really appreciate it and love you all so much!

"God Gave Me you"

Today has been absolutely crazy!  To sum it all up, we got the call!  That's right....the call!!!!  Let me back it up and tell you how this day came to be!

I recieved a beautiful gift from a friend that totally made my day this past weekend!  I necklace with a charm that very simply says "Ask Believe Receive"!  So that's exactly what I did!  I asked Him....I asked Him for the family that we are supposed to have.  I asked Him to give me patience throughout this time of waiting for our baby.  Then I believed.  I believed that He heard every word I said. 

Today I recieved a wonderful book from a coworker with a personalized message to me and Chase!  It's the story of a family and their personal journey through adoption.  I look forward to reading it and see this process through someone else's eyes! (sorry, I can't seem to rotate the picture and I got frustrated so here ya go, LOL)!!!

Then it happened.  The call.  At 11:03 this morning Buckner called with a referral.  A six week old baby girl for an emergency placement.  I called Chase and although I was asking him what he thought, I had already decided YES.  Luckily, he agreed.  It took 2 hours for them to call us back to let us know that she would be placed with us.  We were supposed to get her tonight, but due to some paperwork issues, it will be early tomorrow!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!  We are going to be foster parents.  We don't know very much about her, but we don't care.  We are so excited to have a baby in our home!  I will probably be taking off work the next 2 weeks to get things in order around the house and with the day care.  I know this may not be forever, but it is for right now. We are getting an opportunity of a lifetime.  Regardless of the amount of time she will be in our home, we have unlimited love to show her.  Our thumbprint in her life! 

I have so much to do before she gets here, so I'm making this short!  I'll update tomorrow as soon as things get settled!