We are on our way home from a fabulous weekend in Dallas! To keep myself from falling asleep too soon, I've decided to blog!
First of all, let me tell you how great it was to see everyone...Zoren, Annie, Kasey, Grayson, The Stogsdills, The Rosenbaums and the Shelbys!!! We had so much fun!
As I'm sitting here in the dead silence of the car (Baby Girl is out like a light), I keep thinking, what if we don't get to keep her?! I understand in the grand reality of the "system", the odds are stacked against us! Most people involved in this situation are pro parent! After all, we are only foster parents! We will only get to experience most of this beautiful little girls firsts, but disregard us! What do we know?
I can't stand the thought of not always having her! My eyes fill up with tears any time that thought enters my mind! So many people asked us in the beginning "are you sure you can handle foster care?" I typically would answer with "we won't know if we don't try"! Now I know! I will handle it like a blubbering nonsensical shell of a human! In short, we will not accept another emergency foster placement anytime soon! The what ifs are killing me and I don't think I can handle getting attached and losing them! We will continue to work with the foster care system, but for now only with children with an adoption plan! After we have completed our family, we will visit emergency foster care again - I can almost guarantee it! I know that my purpose on Earth is to help the children that can't help themselves so I'm confident we will be involved somehow! I know that's what we are doing right now, I just didn't expect to fall head over heals in love with her!
Baby Girl's 14 day hearing is Tuesday so we will see how that turns out and just take everything slowly!
Pray pray pray!!!!
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