"Step by Step"

Up to this point I've had a lot of confidence in my oncologist! He has always been very upfront and honest with me and since he was the expert, I've trusted him! When he called last week to give me the biopsy results, he mentioned that he wanted to see me and Chase as soon as possible. Since then, I've recieved 2 phone calls from his nurse. The first was a voicemail asking me to call back and the second was at work. The nurse said "Dr. Numnum wanted me to touch base with you and see about setting up your surgery"! I was completely taken back! WHAT??? We haven't even gone to meet with him and he wants me to schedule my SURGERY!?!?! I don't think so! I totally understand that he is an oncologist and when there is a 90% cure rate for my cancer, he wants to do what needs to be done to get rid of it! I, on the other hand, have a really hard time believing that a hysterectomy is the ONLY path to take. At 30 years old, that seems REALLY extreme!

With that being said, I've decided to pursue MD Anderson! I have an aunt in contact with a doctor and I had my records released to me today from my current doctor. Now I just have to wait to set an appointment and get my flight! We are trying to make it to where Chase can come with me - at least for this first visit! I need him there not only for support, but also to remember everything that is said b/c when I get overwhelmed, I always forget the important stuff! I'm hopeful, but not expecting a miracle. Unfortunately, I think the blow from the first round of treatment has soured my optimism a bit! I still believe that this is all part of God's plan for me! I trust Him with all of my heart and soul and I know that he would never give me more than I can handle! I know that one way or another Chase and I will have our children together - biological or adopted!