Sunday, October 12, 2014

No Matter What...

The days following my last entry were amazingly better.  Not necessarily because the kiddos magically became best friends, but because I reminded myself to have faith and patience every step I took.  They were still crying over the little things and never ever listening (someone tell me that one day they will), but I was different!  I kept my cool and temper under control. I told myself over and over again that this too shall pass...I'm the grown up...I have control over my emotions.  My faith is tested every single day.  As a parent, as a caregiver, as a wife, as a Christian.  God has my back NO MATTER WHAT!  I will serve a selfless, loving God with all of my heart NO MATTER WHAT!
Needless to say, our home is still just as crazy as before but these kids continue to be pretty awesome!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


For those of you who actually read this blog, this one's going to be more of a therapy session then anything else. The day started this morning at 6:30 AM when all children were awake standing in my bathroom staring at me as I got ready for work. Usually I like to get up a little earlier than everyone else so that I have time to get ready before waking them up and having craziness take over my house. So we made it out of the house on time, I got everybody dropped off at daycare, and made it to work at a decent time. I knew something was going to be a little off when I picked up Aubrey after work and she was crying before I ever walked in. Apparently today was just not miss Aubrey's day. 

Made it to the house with minimal arguments over who's daycare teacher is better or who can say their ABCs louder. We make it in the house and then it all begins. Screaming… Yelling… Throwing… telling on each other… And anything else toddlers can possibly get into.  The first hour we were home every one of the kids had their chance at timeout. Did that phase them? Of course not. Finally I had dinner ready, everyone seated at the table. Great!!! I walk away for five seconds and when I come back Aubrey is sitting practically sitting on top of one of the boys and the littlest decides he's going to eat his food while sitting in the middle of the table. I did my best at keeping calm, got each one of them off the table, cleaned up and started getting ready for bed.

Now that they are finally all asleep and I've had a chance to catch up on all of my shows, I start to think back about how this day turned out. Although I was able to keep my calm most of the night, I basically lost it by the time all of them had gone to bed. Chase is out of town so I'm sure that some added stress on me as well. I called him and just cried. He can't do anything from where he is and I know he felt helpless.

Once I cried it out and had a chance to calm down I look back and think, it probably was not as bad as I made it out to seem. There were several times tonight, though, that I began to question our ability to parent three very different children who are very close in age. I started to think maybe we are just over our head. Maybe we should have kept birth order and only fostered babies younger than Aubrey. Then I remind myself what I always have to remind myself. This is not a mistake. They are not here in our house by accident. I will continue to soldier on and remember that my God is a mighty God who can provide peace and reason for everything that happens in this life. I sleep now knowing that tomorrow is a new day. I get another chance tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better.