Friday, April 23, 2010

"Let Go"

I forgot how much I love's my way of being chatty when nobody is around! For those of you who are around me a lot, you know how chatty I can be...Chase can vouch for that! I just realized how long it had been since my last, what has been going on?

I am participating in Relay for Life tonight in Nederland! I'm really excited because it's my first time! I'm also excited because I get to participate in the Survivors Lap at the beginning of the relay. It wasn't until recently that I realized how blessed I am for being in the "survivor" category. We lose loved ones everyday to this horrible disease. A disease that you can rarely do anything about preventing. It just appears one day and turns your whole world upside down. I tell me story to almost everyone...especially women. I firmly believe that if it was not for God's grace and his love for me, I would not have found the cancer when I did. I would have ordinarily never gone to a doctor and requested an endometrial biopsy. I know I've probably written this before, but if I had never met Chase and we had not started talking about having a baby, 10 years from now, I'd be dying of cancer (if not sooner). That was not "by chance" or "lucky"...that was God's working hands. I thank God everyday for my life and even though I've been through the storms, He never leads me to something I can't handle. Even in our current situation with the adoption. I never would have thought the only way for me to have a baby would be through adoption. I was so excited with the idea of going through a pregnancy and seeing what our baby would look like...who he/she would resemble, act like, etc. Even now, 4 months after my surgery, I still grieve over the loss of my ability to have my own, biological baby. Through all of this, though, I know that God has put us in this situation at this time for a purpose. I have been given something much bigger. I'm supposed to save a life and give a baby a loving home that he/she would not have had otherwise. I'm only human, though. Even as I sit here typing how lukcy I am for surviving cancer and how God has blessed me, I have a lump in my throat and tears are rolling down my cheek.

The front of our "A TEAM" shirts

The back of our Relay shirts

Our "inside" campsite

Stefanie with her hair donation!

So my computer decided to shut down on me halfway through my blog, so here I am again...a day later! Last night was Relay and due to the weather, it was moved inside the high school. Over 1000 people in a highschool...walking...all night long. It was a bit crowded. But it was so much fun! We had a really cute campsite and lots of team members! It was a great feeling being there and taking part in it. Stefanie decided to donate 8 inches of her hair and I'm so proud of her...especially for doing it on stage in front of everyone!! I was a little upset that I didn't see any peach ribbons though. Just goes to show me that there is very little to no awareness on uterine cancer. I'll have to see what I can do about that!!! On that note, I'm truly interested in doing speaking engagements to spread awareness, so if you are interested in something like that, let me know!

Until then....Love you all!