Here I Go Again

Sometimes I forget that I have this fabulous outlet to think and type and get everything off my chest.  Today has been a pretty good so far, afterall, it's Chase's 40th birthday.  I love that man - just FYI! :)

The other thing on my mind today is the giant step we have decided to once again take.  A couple of months ago we completed our foster care application with Covenant Kids.  I filled it out without any intention of turning it in soon.  I wanted to see how Chase felt and the kids - I already knew what I felt.  I feel like this is my "thing".  I feel like out of all of the gifts God gives us, I keep getting pulled in this direction.  Maybe it's because I can't have children of my own.  I don't question it, I just go with it.  My biggest concern was Chase.  This is not something that I can do on my own.  He was quick to come on board (probably because he knew it was something important to me) and we both agreed that we would only be able to take one kiddo at a time this go round.  A is excited and wants to be a big sister.  I explained that a little kid may come live with us - it could be for a short time or a long time but they may go back to their mommy.  Her response was simply "or they might live with us forever".  Yes baby...they might.  Z is almost 13, so I can only guess at her feelings on a little kid in the house LOL!!  

Needless to say, I turned in our application.  They have since received our Buckner information and in the process of reviewing that, we've completed all of our online training, updated all of our general paperwork and will attend an orientation this Friday.  We are ready.  I even bought a convertible crib.  A wants to share a room with the "baby" so that works out great!  Our goal is to be completed by the new year (depending on the availability of on site training classes).  

I'm not as anxious as I have been the last couple of times we did this.  I'm anxious to finish updating our license, but I'm not anxious about the placement.  I know that God will take care of that.  He will decide if we foster or adopt.  He will decide when we get a placement.  I have faith that this will all work out if it's meant to be.  

Today I only ask for prayers for patience and guidance. 

**I realized I never updated from my last post regarding A's sibling.  She was adopted by paternal grandmother.  We were very sad about this development, but pray that she will be cared for and loved in her new home. 

Here I Go Again

Sometimes I forget that I have this fabulous outlet to think and type and get everything off my chest.  Today has been a pretty good so far, afterall, it's Chase's 40th birthday.  I love that man - just FYI! :)

The other thing on my mind today is the giant step we have decided to once again take.  A couple of months ago we completed our foster care application with Covenant Kids.  I filled it out without any intention of turning it in soon.  I wanted to see how Chase felt and the kids - I already knew what I felt.  I feel like this is my "thing".  I feel like out of all of the gifts God gives us, I keep getting pulled in this direction.  Maybe it's because I can't have children of my own.  I don't question it, I just go with it.  My biggest concern was Chase.  This is not something that I can do on my own.  He was quick to come on board (probably because he knew it was something important to me) and we both agreed that we would only be able to take one kiddo at a time this go round.  A is excited and wants to be a big sister.  I explained that a little kid may come live with us - it could be for a short time or a long time but they may go back to their mommy.  Her response was simply "or they might live with us forever".  Yes baby...they might.  Z is almost 13, so I can only guess at her feelings on a little kid in the house LOL!!  

Needless to say, I turned in our application.  They have since received our Buckner information and in the process of reviewing that, we've completed all of our online training, updated all of our general paperwork and will attend an orientation this Friday.  We are ready.  I even bought a convertible crib.  A wants to share a room with the "baby" so that works out great!  Our goal is to be completed by the new year (depending on the availability of on site training classes).  

I'm not as anxious as I have been the last couple of times we did this.  I'm anxious to finish updating our license, but I'm not anxious about the placement.  I know that God will take care of that.  He will decide if we foster or adopt.  He will decide when we get a placement.  I have faith that this will all work out if it's meant to be.  

Today I only ask for prayers for patience and guidance. 

**I realized I never updated from my last post regarding A's sibling.  She was adopted by paternal grandmother.  We were very sad about this development, but pray that she will be cared for and loved in her new home. 

"Feeling Groovy"

SHE'S HERE!   On Tuesday, February 7 at 5pm we were entrusted with the most beautiful little girl in the world.  She is 6 weeks old, has the biggest, bluest eyes and has totally rocked our world!  An 8 year old in the house is one thing...a newborn is quite another!  Overall, she is not a very fussy baby (as I type this, she is squirming in Chase's arms after being fed and changed, LOL)!!  She tells us when she's hungry and when she needs changing!  She goes to sleep (although she really just sleeps all day) around 11pm, wakes up at 3 for feeding and diaper change, then usually sleeps until 7 or 8!  Today she slept til 9!!!  YIPPEE!!!  I've been off work for the past week and will be next week so that we can postpone daycare as long as possible.  We have a friend taking care of her the week of the 20th and Chase is taking vacation the last week of Feb so she will not have to go to daycare until March 5!  Thank goodness! I hate thinking of putting her in there, but we need to work!  I've made several visits to the daycare she will be attending and absolutley love it.  They are excited to meet her so that makes me feel a little more at ease!

I have totally LOVED shopping for her!  She now has a fabulous collection of headbands with ridiculously big flowers and all things pink - and thank you to everyone who sent her clothes, she loves them, I can tell!!!!  She is so tiny that her 0-3mo clothing are way too big so I had to get her a few newborn outfits for now!  I'm not allowed to post pics of her on the internet otherwise they would be all over the place :)  For those of you who have received pictures from us, please do not post them on Facebook!  Her aunt, uncle, cousins and grandparents are in love with her and she never has a lack of arms to hold her!  She is one lucky little girl!!

We have no idea what her plan is at this point.  She was an emergency placement, so technically she's not officially our foster baby!  She has a 14 day hearing on the 21st at 8:30am.  At that point they will see if any relatives have come forward for her and have had an approved home study. If nobody comes forward, then she will remain in our care until they create a long term plan for her, either reunification or adoption (usually about a year long process).  Obviously, we don't want her to go, but we know that's not our call.  We love her so much and get teary every time I'm holding her and she just looks up at me and I think that I may not get to see those eyes forever!  If she leaves our home, I can't imagine the pain we will feel but we will be OK knowing that we were able to love her for a short time.  Ultimately, we are praying that she stays with us...forever would be a wonderful and beautiful blessing.  For now we will take one day at a time and enjoy every single minute with her!

At this time we are asking for prayers for her plan.  We pray that she will remain in a safe, loving environment. We pray that she will understand how much we love her and would do anything for her.  We pray for protection over our hearts if she does not remain in our care.  Pray for all of the children who need protection and love out there.

Well, I see that we have totally lost track of time and missed church :(  I will update as often as I can about her progress and any changes to her care!  Thank you for those of you who have been so supportive through all of this, we really appreciate it and love you all so much!

"God Gave Me you"

Today has been absolutely crazy!  To sum it all up, we got the call!  That's right....the call!!!!  Let me back it up and tell you how this day came to be!

I recieved a beautiful gift from a friend that totally made my day this past weekend!  I necklace with a charm that very simply says "Ask Believe Receive"!  So that's exactly what I did!  I asked Him....I asked Him for the family that we are supposed to have.  I asked Him to give me patience throughout this time of waiting for our baby.  Then I believed.  I believed that He heard every word I said. 

Today I recieved a wonderful book from a coworker with a personalized message to me and Chase!  It's the story of a family and their personal journey through adoption.  I look forward to reading it and see this process through someone else's eyes! (sorry, I can't seem to rotate the picture and I got frustrated so here ya go, LOL)!!!

Then it happened.  The call.  At 11:03 this morning Buckner called with a referral.  A six week old baby girl for an emergency placement.  I called Chase and although I was asking him what he thought, I had already decided YES.  Luckily, he agreed.  It took 2 hours for them to call us back to let us know that she would be placed with us.  We were supposed to get her tonight, but due to some paperwork issues, it will be early tomorrow!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!  We are going to be foster parents.  We don't know very much about her, but we don't care.  We are so excited to have a baby in our home!  I will probably be taking off work the next 2 weeks to get things in order around the house and with the day care.  I know this may not be forever, but it is for right now. We are getting an opportunity of a lifetime.  Regardless of the amount of time she will be in our home, we have unlimited love to show her.  Our thumbprint in her life! 

I have so much to do before she gets here, so I'm making this short!  I'll update tomorrow as soon as things get settled! 

"I'm Gonna Love You Through It"

Almost done...AGAIN! LOL! The next week consists of the following...adoption prep class, SAMA class, fingerprints, home visit, health inspection, home study interviews, fire inspection, and orientation (which should have been our first class...oops) and my very premature baby shower! WHEW! Feels like we've done this before! LOL!

This has been such a long journey and this is just the preparation period! I cannot wait to be updated. We aren't sure how long it will take from our last class (on the 15th), but I'm hoping that because we are already in the system, it will go fairly fast. Our hope is to be recertified by the end of November! That means that we have a pretty good chance of having a child in our house by Christmas! That's best case scenario...and that's what we are praying for!

I know this is not going to be easy, especially if that first child in our house isn't with us forever, but I'm hopeful. I'm 100% sure that our baby is out there somewhere, God is just preparing the perfect time for us to meet eachother.

I'm always amazed with our God. I'm amazed at how He uses the people in our lives to lead us to the exact spot He wants us to be. I would be no where near where I am today without God placing Chase in my life. When I trace back where I was to where I am, I have grown so much. My lifestyle has changed and my relationship with the Lord has changed. Everyday I'm learning a little more about who I am and who I want to be. This entire journey has been eye opening, to say the least. I know that we have been CHOSEN to grow our family this way. That is such a great feeling! Thank you Lord for every tear I've cried and every hug I've recieved. I have no doubt there are many more in my future!!!

"Time"

Without access to the internet, other than my phone, my blog has suffered a bit. Last month we decided to start gathering some information on domestic adoptions. I have held Catholic Charities close to my heart for several reasons, so we began there. They were holding an informational on adoption through CPS. The letters "CPS" send several emotions through my body. First, those poor children. Who knows what they have been through and what has delivered them to the hands of the state. Secondly, how do they cope with a new family? More so, how do WE cope with a child coming into a new family? Mostly selfish, I suppose. I've always wanted a newborn and this would definitely not be a newborn.

So we go to this informational because, if nothing else, it won't hurt to gain some insight into the process. We were one of 3 couples in attendance. After 3 hours of information being thrown at us, we got into the car...speechless. I wasn't sure how I felt. I told Chase that I had always wanted a newborn and that I wasn't sure if I was ready to handle a child with an unstable past. Selfish, once again. Then Chase said something that made me realize once again why I love this man so much. He said "don't you believe that God brought us here today for a reason? We want to be parents and they need a family. Who are we to decide how or when that would happen?" That was all I needed. It was so true. We want to have kids and these kids want a family...what a perfect combination. When I got home, I filled out most of the application and we are preparing to turn it in on our anniversary (since we must be married for 2 years before applying).

We are not fostering...only adopting. We can be specific on the number of children (since most are sibling groups) and age range, but not ethnicity. I'm very excited and nervous, but who isn't? Even if I were pregnant, I'd be just as nervous and excited!!

Other than that, I really don't have any other updates in the Dodson household. We had Zoren with us last week which is always fun! We had a great time and hopefully we'll be able to see her again before she starts school (first grade ALREADY)!!!